parenthood: chapter 13

it has been a month since i had the space and time to write. holdy bear is 13 months already and has not wasted any time filling it with action.

huggies diapers

if you have been following me on the grams, you already know that shortly after turning one, he cracked all of his pearly whites and we had to rush him to the ER. we were definitely traumatized for days and i think it already added to the ptsd we are still trying to shed from the nicu. i took him to the dentist and thank god in heaven that he suffered no nerve damage. they rounded out his bottom tooth and left all the other ones alone. after a few days of not seeing him smile, business returned to usual and his crooked smile grew on me.

baby boy smiling

july was a extremely busy month for us as a family, which is part of the reason i haven’t been able to post anything also partially due that my phone app for blogging has me on a waiting list for an updated version so i can’t post as conveniently as i used to.

keith and i met with the palliative care team and handed them four prototypes of our nicu journal for them to give to families. we are hoping we get some feedback soon. we have also got a new lead on what sort of grants we should be writing for in order to get these books funded. i have been so anxious to get these books to current and former nicu parents and sometimes just knowing that we still don’t have enough money to fund this endeavor has been discouraging.

we also finally sat down with a grief counselor, which was really exhausting. i know i need it, but i have spent so long handling my grief on my own that it seems rather invasive to have someone else rummaging around and asking questions about everything. more on that later.

finally, i was able to get away for the weekend with a friend and just explore a new place together. i can’t wait to get the photos i took off my camera and post about my trip, but the experience was much needed. it showed me what i am capable of when i put my fear aside even for a moment, and it also gave me some perspective as to where i want catching meteorites to go in the future.