Parenthood: chapter 8
and just like that our boy is eight months old!
where do i even begin? baby boy achieved so many things this month that i will probably make a separate post about his leap 5 and 6 wonder weeks. sleep was also a hot topic again this month, but we decided to be proactive rather than reactive, with a few mental breakdowns in between. that will have its own posts coming shortly as that is a whole chapter in it of itself. what i will say about it, that it definitely improving as i am actually able to sit down and write a post!
the chubby laughter continues with this kid. again. instagram stories is where its at! he is crawling anywhere he can get to and despite still being a belly crawler, he gets into things pretty fast. while i love the little explorer he is becoming, he is hardly interested in toys with his increased mobility. he wants shoes and cords and door stoppers to lick and chew on.
speaking of chew, baby boy has two teeth! he just cut his second tooth a few days ago a nightmare of sleep deprivation ensued! our toothless baby is gone for good sad face. nursing hasn’t been as difficult as i thought it was, but man when that boy has gas in the middle of feeding…oh.my.word….painful chomp down. i shriek. he laughs. i scold him. he laughs some more.
so what has this month of parenting taught me so far? perseverance. grace. humility. love. commitment.
in a nutshell, a lot. i talk about sleep a lot because it is so important for a baby, and when my baby is not getting quality or adequate rest, i started second guessing my parenting choices. i grew frustrated at what i felt like was my failure to see the signs. it felt like no matter what i was doing, i was further damaging my precious boy and giving up seemed like a better solution than trying anything new. i was not kind to myself during this month, which is ironic because it was the month of love.
i lose myself in self doubt and anger and defeat. it is hard for me to love myself or even feel the presence of god’s love in the midst of struggle when i feel like i am doing this all by myself. there was one night where i was singing my son to sleep and encouraging him to sleep well. i spoke this verse over him that i had heard so much as a child you can do all things through christ who strengthens you.
i don’t know about you, but when i was a kid, i used to think that meant i got superpowers. but as i whispered those words over my son, i realized it wasn’t just about accomplishing or jumping over hurdles, but all things included that i could find rest in the struggle because christ gives me strength.
when i reflect on that notion, i believe that is what i have experienced a lot of this month and without even realizing it.