stay at home mum

DITL of a SAHM and 6 month old

it seems strange that anyone would even care to know about my day to day, but in an effort to get to blogging more, (#newyeargoals) i will overcome my own feeling of invisibility and write as though there is some amother out there who cares and appreciates the day to day. in all honesty, that is what this blog is meant to be about anyway, not the well curated moments that i can be guilty of posting. anyway, i’ll stop jawing about.

i would like to say that i get up at five or six am to start my day before he wakes up, but because he has been hitting all of these developmental and growth milestones back to back, i don’t get much sleep. so i usually get up closer to seven. and he just started teething this month, so there’s that.

i start my day by drinking at least twelve ounces of water. if i can get in twenty that would be splendid. the idea is that i can better hydrate before sticking food in me. i wash my face and brush my teeth and bird bath it—yes like i was eight years old again. mothers know at this stage you don’t have time to shower when its just you and baby, so bird bathing it is. then its time to put on a real bra. not the flimsy nursing bra, i’m talking about one that contours. i get dressed and i quickly make the bed before i grab a bite to eat.

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breakfast for me isn’t the greatest right now. i eat what isn’t going to wake up my son. that means no pretty smoothies. oatmeal and maybe a banana because those are quiet foods, right? my son usually wakes up when i am mid chew, i grab him, kiss him several times because he is so stinking cute even when he’s fussy in the morning. i change his loaded diaper and then i proceed to nurse him. his reflux is getting a lot better so i don’t have to hold him upright for half an hour anymore.

from the time that he first gets up, i know i roughly have an two hours before he’s ready to be put back down. i have started to let him have some play time in his crib or on a blanket by himself since he is not crawling yet. i then fix myself a real meal and then check all of my text that i missed from the day before or take pictures of him or i unload the dishwasher like a responsible human.

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normally i would give him solids after nursing, but with him teething, he hasn’t wanted anything but the boob. i read him a story, sing to him i have a playlist of five christmas songs presently in my head, then i put him down. i get some quiet things done like laundry or this graphic design project i have been working on more details on that soon! usually he gets a good first hour long nap in before he wakes up.

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once he’s up, i typically wait half an hour to feed him just because he had a shorter wake time. after that, i change him and get him loaded in the stroller to go for a walk around the neighborhood or a nearby park that doesn't take ages to drive to. this is good for both of us as we both need the stimulation. I am ok with letting him doze off for his second nap because it is so hard getting him down for his early afternoon naps with these stupid sleep merges.

If he is still asleep I will head to the grocery and do a little grocery shopping in the afternoon to get ready for dinner. we head back to the house I feed him and we play. I also attempt a decent lunch. His last nap of the day is the shortest, thirty minutes at most. then he is up for a total of three hours till bedtime that's three hours from the two he used to be because he is sloughing the fourth nap. 

during this time Keith gets home and plays with him and gets him ready for bed while I get dinner ready. on the rare occasion Keith and I get to eat together, but usually I am nursing while Keith eats and singing our boy to sleep. He wakes up twice, once for gas and the other because he needs a top off.

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lately he has been sleeping between four and five hours between his night feedings which has been awesome and nerve wracking because of the lack of consistency. but overall he is getting better.

I hope this helps some mum out there who finds herself having a difficult time. I know it was hard for me to read posts of mums who had it all together. 

Parenthood: Chapter 4

If I had it in me to torture my worst enemy, I would probably choose for them to endure the four month sleep regression. It is slow. and it is painful.

As Keith and I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel of sleepless nights, we were smacked in the face with yet another road block: extended wake times and sleep regression.

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I was less frustrated this time (but still a little peeved that this little person seemed to be toying with me and the hope that seemed to be dangling off of a cliff). I think I was more frantic that I was losing the groove I was beginning to establish with his sleeping schedule. Not only that, as soon as I thought he was okay with me leaving him to play by himself, he suddenly grew fussy and clingy for no explicable reason.

But in the midst of the mild stress it brought me, I could not help but watch my son in adoration as he discovered something new about himself. The way he explored his own movement, slowly moving his fingers slowly above him. Insisting on sitting up so that he could reach for something in front of him. Everything was new to him, abilities I take for granted.

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I cheered him on as he tried to roll over without assistance and encouraged him when he grew frustrated at a failed attempt. I knew that feeling. I also knew how hard I am on myself when I fail. I knew I didn't want to pass that on to my son. I scooped him up into my arms and would tell him that his trying was excellent and that we would try again later. Part of me was telling myself those same words.

I believe that the Spirit inside of each of us both young and old is ageless and filled with the knowledge of the universe and so it comes as no surprise that God uses the tiny movements of infants to both humble us, as well as administer his grace through them.